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Commentary:
"Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter miraculously reuniting with her hat and gloves 🧢🧤 after a school day. It's like they embark on their own adventures! 🚀😂 #ParentingStruggles"

daughter, except, glof, hat, home, humor, impossible, morning, nothing, parenting, return, school

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

0

2 months ago

bitching, furniture, home, IKEA, note, people, self, ugly
Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

0

5 months ago

ask, describe, gender, gender roles, good, humor, man, marriage, relationship, roles, satire, stereotype, watch, woman
Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

0

5 months ago

comparison, competition, exhaustion, family, making, mom, most, reason, say, tired
Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

0

2 months ago

7am, awareness, humor, i, kids, parenting, Saturday
Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

0

2 months ago

before, communication, education, grammar, humor, internet, nostalgia, only, people, punctuation, remember, spelling
I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

0

2 months ago

back, differently, Friday, humor, i, need, procrastination, thinking, time, time travel, travel, want, weekend, wishful, wishful thinking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

75 shares on Slack this month:

We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.

76 shares on X this month:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

62 shares on WeChat this month:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Live now on WeChat:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Trending via WeChat:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

Making waves on X:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨