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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Live, laugh, leftovers.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Sometimes you choose the GIF-war over your responsibilities.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,411

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Just shared via Twitch:

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you've tasted the freedom of wide-leg pants, even your skinny jeans are like, "Dude, we've been replaced!" 👖🤣

back, clothing, fashion, going, love, once, pant, pants, style, trend, wide-leg, wide-leg pant

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

0

2 months ago

away, awkward, awkward moment, bored, boredom, conversation, ever, interaction, just, moment, social, social interaction, walk, walking, walking away, wish
I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, humor, i, necessity, newspaper, newspapers, old, paper, pun, ran, resourcefulness, rough, rough times, start, times, toilet, toilet paper
If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

0

2 months ago

confusion, going, humor, i, irony, me, mind, question, self-awareness, thinking, unexpected
Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

0

2 months ago

boredom, cell, cell phone, daily, daily life, experience, funny experience, humor, life, observation, phone, tiles, today, toilet
Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

0

2 months ago

alive, dead, hamster, hear, humor, observation, people, talking, think, thinking, turning, wheel, yourself
You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

0

2 months ago

arrest, couple, couple days, days, ever, house, house arrest, humor, isolation, mood, put, self-imposed, weird, weird mood, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Telegram this month:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

99 shares on X this month:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

11 shares on Threads this month:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

83 shares on Threads this month:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Making waves on YouTube:

Work can be tiring at times, and you might feel like quitting. But remember those plane tickets.

Seen just now on TikTok:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Live now on TikTok:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

Just landed via X:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Just shared via TikTok:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Seen just now on X:

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨