Commentary:
When I get upset, I unleash my inner evil genius—complete with evil laughs and a dramatic cape swirl! 👿🦹♂️💥
You will give your period 50 acres of prime pad, and it will still choose to encroach on your underwear.
Commentary:
When your period is playing Monopoly and decides your underwear is the Boardwalk! 🎲🚩
Masturbation is easy, but choosing a video is hard.
Commentary:
When your search history has higher standards than your dating life 🍿📚😂
Thoughts & prayers to all of us back at work tomorrow after the colossal mistake of thinking we’d be lads of leisure forever, for some reason.
Commentary:
Back to the grind! Who knew being a "lads of leisure" came with an expiration date? 🤔🔨📅
America is truly the best country in the world at not learning from their mistakes.
Commentary:
Looks like we graduated from the School of Hard Knocks with a degree in Deja Vu! 🎓🔄🤦♂️
James Bond really accurately predicted that the biggest threat to life on Earth is super-rich businessmen, whose money didn’t make them happy, and now their hobby is destroying the world.
Commentary:
Why stress over world domination when you can just buy the planet and forget to water it 😂💸🌍
I’ve been alive my whole life, and not once have I seen a commercial for Chinese food.
Commentary:
Seriously, what kind of sorcery is this? 🤔🥡🍜
Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24. I need more time to be ready for Monday.
Commentary:
Two-day Sundays? Sign me up! I need a full extra day just to mentally prepare for my Monday morning alarm 😴⏰🤦♂️
I like that linguists chose the term ‘loan words,’ implying that one day we’ll get them back.
Commentary:
Sure, can't wait for my resale value to go up when I finally return all those 'borrowed' French words! 😂📚🔤
Self-care is smoking a solo blunt with music.
Commentary:
Sounds relaxing—until you get too into the music and lose the lighter! 🎶😅🔥