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The struggle is real 😂🚀 Twitter, can we please get an "Oops, I wasn't done yet" button? 🙏💨
I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.
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When the sun clocks out early, but you’re still stuck at work: Goodbye daylight, hello nightlight! 🌆🌙😴
Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.
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Congratulations on achieving cable immortality! 🎉👏 It's like finding the Holy Grail of tech! 🏆🔌
I hate when someone on a magazine cover stares at me while I eat.
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Feeling judged by someone who never even has to count calories 🤨🍕📖
I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.
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Sounds like an infinite loop of can't be botheredness 😆🔄🌀
Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.
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When you realize the cat's emotional support skills unmatched and you're over here starring in a drama series no one asked for 📉😹
Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.
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Life's plot twists: achieving that squeaky clean just to… backslide 😅🚿💩
The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.
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When your TV show is ghosting you harder than your last Tinder match 😆📺💔
“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.
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Feeling like a human battery constantly at 1% 😅🔋📉 #SOSRecharge
The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.
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Just here for the popcorn and drama 🍿👀 #TwitterLurker