Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Normalize bed-rotting in the holidays and not feeling guilty about it for your mental health.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Oh good. Another day.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,672

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

Seen just now on Facebook:

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

Spotted on X:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Trending via Discord:

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Just landed via YouTube:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Breaking via WeChat:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I guess "brief encounter" just took on a whole new meaning! 🤔😂👙

humor, i, language, panty, say, sexy, speech, weird, word

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

0

2 months ago

alphabet, critique, educational, educational movie, humor, irony, kids, movie, movie critique, teach, v, V for Vendetta, vendetta
Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

0

2 months ago

appetite, burger, date, food, frustration, fun, humor, release
Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

0

2 months ago

ambition, aspiration, change, food, forever, humor, i, life, motivation, sandwich, someday
Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

0

2 months ago

call, gap, gap year, humor, procrastination, taking, time, time off, vacation, year
I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

0

2 months ago

appearance, confidence, Funny, got, growth, hot, humor, i, perfect, personal, personal growth, self, self-confidence, transformation, twenty, ugly
My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal comparison, comparison, favorite, football, hamsters, humor, players, sport, sport humor, water

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

76 shares on Slack this month:

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

61 shares on X this month:

I’m liking your IG photo from 8 days ago because IG just showed me today!

28 shares on Telegram this month:

All I want for Christmas this year is the housing market to crash, so I could buy a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom house for $3.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

15 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Just shared via X:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Just landed via Facebook:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

Trending via Pinterest:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Just shared via Facebook:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Making waves on Threads:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨