Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,953

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Just shared via Facebook:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

Going viral on Threads:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Just landed via Telegram:

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

Spotted on X:

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Scooby-Doo: Unmasking villains and real estate scams since 1969! 🐶🏠👻

doo, every, just, landlord, people, property, scare, scooby, Scooby Doo, sell, show, trying, villain, woke

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, believe, crazy, election, hard, humor, months, over, politics
Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

0

1 month ago

cuddle, dating, gender, gender roles, humor, irony, little, masculinity, men, relationship, roles, spoon, used, want, war
If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

0

4 months ago

2, AirPods, am, every, exist, humor, i, late, late night, listen, men, music, night, relaxation, simply, solitude, walk
I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

0

1 month ago

Adderall, ADHD, day, drug, drug humor, every, exaggeration, extension, fantasy, hours, humor, i, productivity, thinking, time, time extension, unemployed, unemployment, wish, wishful, wishful thinking
No email needs to tell me not to reply.

0

1 month ago

communication, email, humor, message, reply, tech, tell, work
Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

0

2 months ago

better, cleaning, dancer, humor, relationship, Roomba, something, status, technology, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Messenger this month:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

79 shares on Threads this month:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

52 shares on Discord this month:

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

12 shares on Threads this month:

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

41 shares on X this month:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

The downside to getting in a hammock is having to get out of the hammock.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

Just shared via YouTube:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Going bananas on WeChat:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

Making waves on Instagram:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Just landed via Snapchat:

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

Making waves on Telegram:

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Seen just now on YouTube:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Just landed via Messenger:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨