Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Jeans have the tendency of looking neat when you’re about to wash them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,256

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Trending via Reddit:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Just landed via Slack:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Spotted on Facebook:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Going viral on Twitch:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Just shared via Discord:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Going viral on WeChat:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Talk about method acting! 🎥😴🌟 Who knew waking up could be an Oscar-worthy performance?

another, bed, behavior, camera, funny behavior, illness, just, level, mental, mental illness, pretend, setting, setup, woke, woke up

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

0

1 month ago

20, finding, human, humor, jeans, luck, money, old, surprise, version
I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

0

2 months ago

car, coffee, coffee cup, cup, feeling, funny idea, humor, i, idea, interaction, lonely, me, morning, people, quirky行为, social, social interaction, top, wave
The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

0

2 months ago

day, donuts, eat, food, good, good day, humor, indulgence, naturally, rain, treat, weather
I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

0

2 months ago

dessert, eating, food, good, humor, joke, math, Pi, pun, solving
Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

0

2 months ago

exist, hotter, humor, jealousy, me, ok, people, pretty, rude, self-deprecation, younger
The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad idea, being, cool, cool thing, decision, delay, ever, ground, humor, idea, ideas, procrastinator, thing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Slack this month:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

65 shares on Slack this month:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

31 shares on X this month:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Many of you need to put “lighten up” on your resolutions list.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Making waves on TikTok:

Have to wear real clothes on Monday. Pray for me.

Just shared via WeChat:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Seen just now on WeChat:

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Going bananas on Threads:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Trending via Threads:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Trending via Threads:

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

Making waves on Facebook:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨