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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,413

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Just landed via YouTube:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Breaking via WeChat:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

Making waves on Slack:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Shared recently on Messenger:

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Spotted on X:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Just landed via YouTube:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

Seen just now on Threads:

You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

Going viral on WeChat:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

2 months ago

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What a deliciously silent idea! 🥐🚫🤐👸

add, diet, gluten-free, humor, insult, maybe, princess, sarcasm, shutting, shutting up

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40 shares on Messenger this month:

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

Social media may have been a mistake.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

21 shares on X this month:

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

81 shares on Messenger this month:

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

53 shares on Twitch this month:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

It’s called single sign-on because you have to do it every single time.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

Just landed via YouTube:

Dear Santa, Money!

Just shared via Slack:

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Live now on Messenger:

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

Live now on Reddit:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

Breaking via Discord:

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨