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Commentary:
"Maybe Noah knew that animals make better companions than humans… 🤔🐾 Who needs drama when you can have peaceful days on an ark? 🌧️🚢 #NoahsArkLife"

animals, ark, companionship, funny observation, humor, i, nature, Noah, observation, realization, realize

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

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2 months ago

bring, Caesar, day, humor, knife, looking, shock, shocked, something, work
Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

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2 months ago

ASAP, attack, confusion, Googling, having, internet, internet search, means, misunderstanding, panic, panic attack, search, stress, urgency
Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

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2 months ago

bodily, bodily function, digestion, eat, fart, food, function, ghost, ghosts, humor, joke, just, things
Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

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2 months ago

bigger, expectation, funny observation, humor, i, joke, lot, microbiologist, observation, once, science, size
Being insane should at least burn calories.

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2 months ago

being, burn, calory, exercise, health, humor, insane, least, mental, mental health, should
Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

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2 months ago

30, commercial, concept, enjoy, enjoyment, free, humor, irony, minutes, music, next, Spotify, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on X this month:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

61 shares on Instagram this month:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

82 shares on Slack this month:

I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

52 shares on Slack this month:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

31 shares on Threads this month:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

Shared recently on Discord:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

Just landed via Threads:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Just shared via Threads:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Just landed via Slack:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Making waves on Threads:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨