Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.
  • “Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.
  • I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.
  • I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.
  • You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.
  • Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.