So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

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The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

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The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

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Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

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Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

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“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

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Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

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A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

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You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

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I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

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Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.