Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,346

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

Trending via Slack:

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Someone needs to invent a theater seat that forcefully ejects you through the roof if you take your phone out during a movie.

Spotted on X:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Just shared via Messenger:

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Spotted on Twitch:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like those spreadsheets were more 'ex-cell' than 'excel'ing! 📊😅 Maybe next time, they'll add up to a better outcome! 😉"

excel, feel, humor, i, irony, joke, office, once, productivity, spreadsheet, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

0

6 months ago

casual, casual conversation, conversation, drinking, drunk, getting, humor, i, just, me, self-reflection
If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

0

2 months ago

bit, clean, head, humor, kill, mind, much, spend, thoughts, tidy, time
You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

0

2 months ago

education, having, humor, learning, life, pension, school, should, student, year’s
Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

0

2 months ago

again, animal, animal defense, avoid, avoidance, behavior, dead, death, deaths, defense, dragonfly, fake, fake death, female, female behavior, girl, here, humor, mating, nature, own, play, ugh, unwanted
Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

0

2 months ago

affection, deficiency, forehead, forehead kiss, humor, kiss, kisses, longing, relationship, self-diagnosed, suffering
Life is too short, and death is too long.

0

2 months ago

contemplation, death, existential, humor, irony, life, short, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

41 shares on X this month:

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

97 shares on Slack this month:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

24 shares on Slack this month:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Just landed via Facebook:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Breaking via Telegram:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Just landed via Messenger:

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

Just shared via Instagram:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Just landed via Telegram:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Going viral on Discord:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Life is too short, and death is too long.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨