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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,505

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

Going viral on Pinterest:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Spotted on Instagram:

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

Making waves on X:

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

Going bananas on Threads:

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Just landed via Reddit:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Trending via Slack:

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

Just shared via Messenger:

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

Just shared via WeChat:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why do Mondays keep coming back like they own the place? 🗓️😂

again, frustration, humor, i, keep, life, living, Monday, routine, tomorrow, week

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

0

2 months ago

butt, confidence, fun, humor, love, own, positivity, self-love
Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

0

2 months ago

20, attic, box, humor, humor about unused items, i, items, keep, long-term, next, nice, preservation, sarcasm, should, storage, unused
Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

0

2 months ago

40s, adulthood, age, changes, exhaustion, humor, life, life changes, sleeping, tired, welcome
Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

0

2 months ago

age, drinking, feeling, going, half, hangover, humor, math, middle-aged, morning, next, party, twice, waking
I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

0

2 weeks ago

again, communication, freaky, hate, humor, i, mood, mood shift, morning, night, pure, purity, reply, shift, shut, someone, something, still, sun, texting, vibe
Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

0

5 months ago

cheaper, coping, coping mechanism, culture, health, humor, internet, internet culture, mechanism, media, mental, mental health, posting, shit, shitposting, social, social media, therapy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Messenger this month:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

These aliens are taking forever.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

92 shares on Messenger this month:

Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

32 shares on Telegram this month:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

24 shares on X this month:

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

30 shares on Slack this month:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

85 shares on YouTube this month:

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Live now on Telegram:

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

Breaking via Twitch:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Just landed via Instagram:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Making waves on Snapchat:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Shared recently on Threads:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

Spotted on Telegram:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I wish I lived in a sitcom, and my friends just barged into my apartment uninvited.

Breaking via YouTube:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨