Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,367

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

Spotted on TikTok:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Going viral on YouTube:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Making waves on WeChat:

It’s crazy how drinking poison makes you feel like shit the next day.

Just landed via Messenger:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Social media is mental suicide.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Diving into social media feels like jumping into a pool without checking if there's water first! 🤪📱#DigitalSplash

exaggeration, health, humor, life, media, mental, mental health, mental state, modern, modern life, network, social, social media, social network, state, suicide, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, digestive, digestive trouble, health, humor, lessons, life, life lessons, trouble, wisdom
Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

0

2 months ago

cat, cats, entertainment, humor, making, media, pet, sleep, sleeping, social, social media, spend, third, video, videos, viral, viral video
I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

0

2 months ago

acceptance, day, funeral, humor, job, never, retire, using, vacation, vacation day, work, working
I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

0

2 months ago

being, comfort, coming, cozy, home, i, inside, introvert, love, relaxation, sitting, staying
I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

0

2 months ago

activity, adventure, corn, corn maze, date, ever, found, fun, fun activity, humor, i, lost, maze, relationship, wonder
I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

0

2 months ago

conversation, forgetfulness, forgot, humor, i, looking, meds, nature, politics, squirrels, take, talk, tree, whimsy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Reddit this month:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

22 shares on Telegram this month:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

83 shares on Discord this month:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

74 shares on X this month:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

62 shares on Slack this month:

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Just landed via Twitch:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Going viral on Instagram:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Social media is mental suicide.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨