Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,513

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Spotted on Telegram:

Imagine being a bald vampire and every time you walk by a mirror your toupée is just floating.

Making waves on Threads:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Spotted on Slack:

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

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Commentary:
"Me: A walking dictionary, but with Wi-Fi! 😂📚🔍 #WordNinja"

5, ask, case, education, every, humor, i, language, learning, looking, lookup, minutes, preparation, procrastination, sentence, spending, study, sure, vocabulary, want, word, word lookup, writing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

0

5 months ago

always, bed, bed potato, chair, chair potato, couch, couch potato, humor, later, laziness, potato, relaxation, right
I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

0

2 months ago

activity, around, backyard, carrying, chainsaw, funny activity, guessing, humor, i, joke, keep, ladder, relationship, surprise, walking, wife
Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

0

2 months ago

aspiration, being, financial, financial struggle, huge, humor, inconvenience, luxury, me, money, rich, sarcasm, struggle, wealth, wealth aspiration
Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, adulting, bed, changes, different, excited, excitement, getting, humor, level, life, life changes, responsibility, sleep
I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

0

3 months ago

Airbnb, amenity, bed, cable, cable television, eating, gym, hell, hotel, humor, i, leisure, love, pool, relaxation, room, room service, service, show, staying, swimming, swimming pool, television, time, TV, TV Show, using, vacation, watch, while, working, worst
The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

0

2 months ago

activity, ago, always, bots, comedy, hilarious, humor, internet, internet humor, just, liking, me, media, online, online activity, porn, posts, self-deprecating, social, social media, viral

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Telegram this month:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

100 shares on X this month:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

87 shares on Slack this month:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

82 shares on Threads this month:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

17 shares on Twitch this month:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

Trending via Reddit:

Instagram is literally just screenshots of Twitter.

Going viral on Slack:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Trending via Facebook:

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

Going bananas on YouTube:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Seen just now on X:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨