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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Don’t study, get slutty!

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Spotted on Threads:

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Just landed via TikTok:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Going viral on X:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

Breaking via TikTok:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

Trending via Pinterest:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

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Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, you know what they say, when a blockbuster movie saves the world from aliens, it deserves its own federal holiday! 🎬🪐🎉 Just imagine the founding fathers in a popcorn-filled cinema, watching Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum saving the day – quite the historical moment! 🍿👽🇺🇸 #IndependenceDay2.0

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Discord this month:

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

47 shares on Threads this month:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

21 shares on Threads this month:

Does anyone know where I can find true love?

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

56 shares on Threads this month:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m actually really fun once you get to know me (takes 3-4 years).

77 shares on Telegram this month:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

72 shares on Threads this month:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,606

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Be the reason someone burns sage.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Never trust a wet fart.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then honestly, you’re missing out because that’s when my jokes and bits get really, really good.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Just landed via X:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Spotted on TikTok:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Spotted on YouTube:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Trending via Pinterest:

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Just landed via Discord:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Trending via TikTok:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Trending via WeChat:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

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