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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Trending via Pinterest:

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

Trending via Twitch:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Trending via Facebook:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

Live now on Telegram:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

2 days ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about mornings and work, humorously suggesting early birds face extra tears.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like my snooze button is just an investment in emotional wellness! 😅🥱🚗

bird, bit, cry, early, early bird, frustration, humor, life, little, longer, lot, morning, office, office life, parking, parking lot, stress, work

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Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on TikTok this month:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

31 shares on Threads this month:

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

11 shares on Slack this month:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

43 shares on Slack this month:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to smart people with a refined sense of beauty.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

95 shares on Discord this month:

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

They should add a live chat to every Wikipedia article.

Making waves on Threads:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Trending via Threads:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Going viral on WeChat:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

Just shared via Reddit:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Spotted on YouTube:

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Going viral on Reddit:

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

Just shared via Facebook:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Just shared via Facebook:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

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Activity Log ✨

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Keep the laugh going 😂

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨