Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,373

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Just landed via Slack:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Seen just now on Messenger:

There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

Spreading quickly via X:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Just shared via Discord:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Salary week, but salary weak.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Just landed via WeChat:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like my snooze button is just an investment in emotional wellness! 😅🥱🚗

bird, bit, cry, early, early bird, frustration, humor, life, little, longer, lot, morning, office, office life, parking, parking lot, stress, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, fear, film, flashlight, health, horror, horror film, humor, mental, mental health, reliability
If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

0

2 months ago

ask, going, home, humor, invitation, leave, me, myself, situation, tell
5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

0

2 months ago

5pm, call, Friday, humor, ice cream, joke, machine, McDonald’s, me, not working, weekend, working
WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

0

2 months ago

communication, deleted, deleted message, drama, media, message, needs, notification, social, social media, texting, unnecessary, WhatsApp
Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

0

2 months ago

doll, give, good, humor, joke, massage, playful, quirky, sarcastic, voodoo, voodoo doll
I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

0

2 months ago

am, days, disgust, disgusted, even, expectation, humor, i, irony, Netflix, nudity, payment

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

90 shares on Slack this month:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

90 shares on Discord this month:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

45 shares on X this month:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

Spotted on Messenger:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Making waves on X:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Broadcasted on Slack:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Trending via TikTok:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Going viral on WeChat:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Making waves on Snapchat:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨