Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,320

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Going viral on Instagram:

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

Spotted on Instagram:

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

Spotted on WeChat:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like my snooze button is just an investment in emotional wellness! 😅🥱🚗

bird, bit, cry, early, early bird, frustration, humor, life, little, longer, lot, morning, office, office life, parking, parking lot, stress, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

0

2 months ago

comedy, culture, entertainment, humor, just, life, mixed, pop, pop culture, references, satire, series, sery, Sopranos, things, TV, TV references
It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

0

4 weeks ago

accomplish, amazing, around, before, cleaning, coming, house, housework, humor, i, motivation, much, over, preparation, procrastination, productivity, right, someone, visitor
Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

0

2 months ago

aspiration, career, humor, irony, job, life, me, pursue, why
Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

0

2 months ago

activity, aliens, basket, creativity, fellas, friendship, fun, fun activity, gift, gift basket, humor, making, me, welcome, welcome gift
Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

0

2 months ago

always, boobs, gender, gender humor, humor, humorous, joke, lighthearted, paper, play, playful, pun, rock, why, win, witty, wordplay
Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

0

2 months ago

article, bias, cognitive, cognitive bias, confirmation, confirmation bias, every, found, humor, i, irony, just, pattern, prophecy, psychology, read, right, self-fulfilling, self-fulfilling prophecy, skepticism, thinking, thinking pattern

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on YouTube this month:

21 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

70 shares on Slack this month:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Making waves on Discord:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Spotted on Instagram:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Just shared via Slack:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Going bananas on TikTok:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Just landed via Discord:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨