Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

If we start flirting now, we could be in matching pajamas on a Christmas card before the holidays.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

354 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,623

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,623

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,250

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Spotted on Facebook:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Going viral on Slack:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

Spotted on Telegram:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Trending via YouTube:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

Going viral on Facebook:

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your iPhone alarm gives you a wake-up call so intense, you time travel and wake up before it even rings! ⏰🚀😂

alarm, before, effective, iPhone, listen, morning, noise, sleep, technology, wake, wake up

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

5 months ago

Christmas, holiday, holiday humor, humor, jingle, pun, standing, wordplay
I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

3 months ago

boss, cannonball, conclusions, confidence, diving, exaggeration, humor, i, jump
If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

2 months ago

another, bad, bad decision, decision, decision making, friendship, here, humor, invitation, joke, looking, self-deprecation
“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

2 months ago

awkwardness, conversation, describe, humor, i, irony, me, personality, response, self-description, yourself
I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

2 months ago

celebrity, comedy, culture, cyrus, hannibal, Hannibal Montannibal, humor, i, lambs, miley, Miley Cyrus, montannibal, movie, movie remake, parody, playing, pop, pop culture, read, remake, silence, Silence of the Lambs
My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

3 weeks ago

16, Christmas, guess, here, humor, i, joke, jokes, mall, me, parent, parents, real, right, Santa, teenager, told

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on WeChat this month:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

75 shares on X this month:

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

99 shares on Slack this month:

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

79 shares on X this month:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

69 shares on Discord this month:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

Just landed via Reddit:

Have you tried complaining about it?

Seen just now on Twitch:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

Seen just now on Slack:

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨