Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

Spotted on Messenger:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Going viral on Slack:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Shared recently on Slack:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

Just landed via Instagram:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Breaking via Threads:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Spotted on Discord:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs an open mind when you can have an open bar? 🍹💡 Bottoms up for closed thoughts and open bottles! 🍻🧠 #Priorities"

bar, drinking, fun, humor, i, love, mind, nightlife, only, open, open bar, open mind, socializing, thing, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

0

2 months ago

absurdity, comedy, humor, irony, lighthearted, little, paper, parody, question, quirk, trying
Food gives you energy to nap more.

0

2 months ago

energy, food, humor, humor quote, nap, relaxation, rest
My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

0

2 months ago

am, ceiling, daily, daily struggle, debating, humor, i, live, living, minutes, morning, morning routine, need, procrastination, routine, staring, struggle, thinking, tired, today
I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

0

6 months ago

closer, dating, death, humor, love, relationship, sarcasm, stable
If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

0

7 days ago

50, coffee, coffee shop, days, humor, old, old days, passive-aggressive, pay, payment, pretend, shop, sign, smoke, Wi-Fi, wifi
You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

0

2 months ago

desire, escape, humor, ID, know, missing, travel, where, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

88 shares on Reddit this month:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

24 shares on X this month:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

58 shares on Threads this month:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

54 shares on Discord this month:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Starting to think business is standing on me.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Spotted on X:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

Just landed via Telegram:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Going viral on Threads:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Seen just now on X:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

Making waves on Discord:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Shared recently on Facebook:

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Food gives you energy to nap more.

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨