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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Happiness is an inside job.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

October is the situationship of months. So briefly beautiful, but you know the horrors are imminent.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,274

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Trending via Discord:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Just landed via YouTube:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Trending via WeChat:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Breaking via Telegram:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

Trending via WeChat:

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the real wolves were just good actors in suits! 🐺💼😂

actual, finance, humor, irony, market, movie, stock, stock market, street, wall, wall street, wolf

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

0

2 months ago

dwell, new, new year, positivity, reflection, rule, self-improvement, wrong, year
I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, energy, engine, exhaustion, frustration, full, gas, hate, having, health, humor, i, mental, mental health, tank
If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

0

2 months ago

cause, confusion, cousin, family, gatherings, humor, interaction, lot, parents, party, partying, relationship, sibling, social, social interaction
I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

0

2 months ago

bank, blood, humor, i, joke, money, pun, refusal, refuse
Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

0

5 months ago

able, adulthood, alone, choice, choose, day, freedom, hear, home, humor, irony, kid, loneliness, scary, scary story, stay, stay home, story, want, whatever
Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

0

5 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, communication, conversation, humor, mistake, moment, nothing, person, regret, venting, worse, wrong

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on TikTok this month:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

30 shares on X this month:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

85 shares on Threads this month:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

30 shares on Discord this month:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

56 shares on X this month:

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

Just shared via YouTube:

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Making waves on YouTube:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

Trending via Slack:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Breaking via X:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

Just shared via Telegram:

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨