Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,343

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

Going viral on Slack:

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

Just landed via Pinterest:

It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

Just landed via Threads:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Trending via Slack:

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

Spotted on Pinterest:

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Going viral on Facebook:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Career change: from office worker to full-time 'yes, dear' consultant! 🤔💕😂"

balance, decision, focus, girlfriend, humor, job, love, quitting, relationship, thinking, work life, work-life balance

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, comparison, discomfort, funny comparison, hell, humor, introvert, party, saint, social, social anxiety
Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

0

2 months ago

clean, convenience, everyone, humor, just, laziness, outside, pee, toilet
Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

0

4 weeks ago

biting, funny invitation, gingerbread, gingerbread man, heads, holiday, holiday treat, invitation, man, men, snack, sweet, sweet snack, swing, treat
I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

0

2 months ago

analogy, coworker, dude, eat, eating, fish, humor, i, just, know, should, think, weird
The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

0

2 months ago

fairy, fairy tale, fantasy, food, Gretel, Hansel, house, humor, taco, tale, whimsical
My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

0

5 months ago

alone, behavior, Funny, funny behavior, humor, interaction, leaving, moved, only, people, regret, social, social interaction, suspicion, time, trust

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on YouTube this month:

Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

22 shares on X this month:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Spotted on Discord:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Broadcasted on X:

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Spotted on Instagram:

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

Live now on WeChat:

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

Breaking via Reddit:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Spotted on YouTube:

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨