Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.