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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,609

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Live now on WhatsApp:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Breaking via Facebook:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Live now on TikTok:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

“Are you seeing anyone,” like hallucinating?

Freshly posted on Threads:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Just landed via Reddit:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

Just landed via Twitch:

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

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This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.
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Commentary:
Well, I've seen some intense game nights, but this one might be a bit too much for my heart to handle! 😅🔫🎢

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

41 shares on Slack this month:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

57 shares on X this month:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,359

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Making waves on Messenger:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Just landed via YouTube:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Just shared via Messenger:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Trending via Reddit:

Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

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