Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

My fridge turns into a food retirement home, as soon as I buy groceries.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,697

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Spotted on Messenger:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Going viral on Twitch:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

Spotted on Slack:

Architects should try and design a house with no yelling.

Just landed via Twitch:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

Just shared via Facebook:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Shared recently on Threads:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, at least we all have free Wi-Fi in this open-air asylum! 😂🧠📱

health, hospital, humor, just, media, mental, mental health, mental hospital, online, online platform, platform, satire, social, social media, Twitter, virtual

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

0

2 months ago

clean, cleanliness, couch, disgusted, disgusted stare, hate, home, house, humor, i, laziness, messy, messy house, procrastination, relax, stare
I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

0

5 months ago

distraction, falling, falling in love, having, hobby, humor, i, love, recommend, recommendation, things
I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

0

2 months ago

cat, communication, dogs, fetch, humor, i, internet, irony, newspapers, pets, sorry, technology
My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situations, bathroom, bathroom humor, expression, face, funny expression, hours, humor, moments, pee, pee face, relatable, relatable moments, same, sex, sex face, situations
“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

0

2 months ago

Batman, Batman Forever, ever, forever, funny observation, humor, kiss, Kiss From a Rose, most, movie, movie quote, nostalgia, observation, romantic, romantic movie, rose, think
I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

0

2 months ago

actually, again, conversation, encounter, humor, i, insight, love, never, perspective, random, random encounter, say, shit, stranger, strangers, talking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on YouTube this month:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

44 shares on Discord this month:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

92 shares on Slack this month:

I like you because we hate the same people.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Seen just now on Messenger:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Just shared via YouTube:

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

Just shared via Slack:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Just shared via YouTube:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Making waves on Threads:

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

Seen just now on YouTube:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Just landed via WeChat:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Just shared via X:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨