Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,574

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Seen just now on Slack:

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Spotted on Threads:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Going viral on Telegram:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Going viral on Pinterest:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Just landed via TikTok:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Breaking via Twitch:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That overachieving version of you should totally pay rent for all this motivation! 🏠💪😄

am, doing, done, going, humor, i, just, keep, literally, motivation, obsession, productivity, self-improvement, stuff, unfortunately, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

0

2 months ago

crazy, driving, highway, humor, McDonald’s, merge, observation, people, perfectly, traffic
That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

0

2 months ago

after, early, fatigue, morning, nap, rest, second, sleep, snooze, tiredness, too, waking, waking up, wave
Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

0

2 months ago

activity, appreciate, fun, fun activity, humor, only, planking, social, social trend, time, trend
I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, communication, humor, joke, loud, me, people, senior, slow, speech, talk, where
I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad choice, being, choice, choices, crisis, existential, existential crisis, hell, humor, infinite, infinite loop, irony, just, life, life choice, loop, real, real hell, self-doubt, stuck, think
New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

0

2 months ago

auto, Covid, humor, insurance, joke, new, pandemic, satire, sell, variant, warranty

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on WeChat this month:

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

No plans and no pants kind of day.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

Knowing a guy who knows a guy is one of the most valuable things in the entire world.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

75 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Spotted on YouTube:

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

Going bananas on Discord:

Professor: Most of you won’t pass this course. Me: Cool, so you’re like, real shitty at your job.

Breaking via Telegram:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.

Making waves on Messenger:

Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

Spotted on Threads:

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Going bananas on Discord:

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨