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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,602

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Happy new fear!

Spotted on Messenger:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Spotted on Twitch:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Going viral on Telegram:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Just landed via TikTok:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like we're gonna need a timeshare agreement for the swing pushes! 😆⏳🎡"

activity, age, age regression, both, childhood, friendship, fun, fun activity, humor, joking, me, playful, push, regression, same, swingset, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

2 months ago

dining, fancy, fancy restaurant, food, humor, know, menu, name, point, pronounce, pronunciation, restaurant, restaurant humor, want
Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

2 months ago

care, dump, friendship, health, humor, invitation, mental, mental health, movie, nap, order, over, pizza, relaxation, self, self-care, take, trauma, trauma dump, want, watch
People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

2 months ago

comfort, comfort zone, comfortable, communication, dynamics, extrovert, humor, introvert, people, personality, personality types, shut, shut up, social, social dynamics, talk, tell, types, zone
Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

2 months ago

brag, chop, cooking, cry, crying, emotions, humor, i, joke, onion, skill
Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

2 months ago

actually, antique, attack, doll, fear, human, humans, humor, irony, majority, murder, people, porcelain, porcelain doll, rare, rarity, shark, shark attack
Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

2 months ago

avoidance, decision, due, humor, i, not wanting, wanting, will not be

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Telegram this month:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

53 shares on Threads this month:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

35 shares on Slack this month:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

47 shares on Threads this month:

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

58 shares on Threads this month:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Just shared via Facebook:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Going viral on Instagram:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Making waves on TikTok:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨