Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Ah, the classic case of Oxford overachievers! 🎓🧐 Seems like someone just can't resist dropping the ol' alma mater reference every chance they get! 😉📚 #HumbleBragGoals

comma, education, humor, irony, Oxford, sarcasm, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

0

2 months ago

communication, dog, frustration, humor, husband, ignore, me, nothing, pet, relationship, stabby, talking
Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

0

2 months ago

do everything, everything, funny observation, hand, hold, humor, i, just, know, knowledge, knows, observation, pencil, sit, weird
The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

0

2 months ago

art, feet, humor, martial, martial art, mastery, self-care, shower, wash, washing, washing feet
Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

0

2 months ago

ask, before, breakfast, celebration, day, family, fun, humor, joke, letting, little, longer, morning, mother’s, Mother’s Day, sleep, wake, wife
Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

0

2 months ago

diarrhea, funny name, gonorrhea, great, humor, joke, medicine, name, wordplay
The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

0

2 months ago

28, 28 Days, apocalypse, Britain, comedy, days, exist, handle, hilarious, humor, idea, independence, international, own, rest, satire, saw, series, world, zombie

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Slack this month:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

You can reach me by butterfly.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

29 shares on Reddit this month:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

50 shares on Messenger this month:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

69 shares on Threads this month:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

21 shares on Reddit this month:

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

Going bananas on Threads:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

Making waves on Twitch:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Spotted on Telegram:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

Seen just now on Threads:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Going bananas on Slack:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Just landed via Facebook:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨