Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,662

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Just shared via Facebook:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Breaking via TikTok:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Going viral on Twitch:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Going viral on Twitch:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Going viral on YouTube:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

Going viral on Facebook:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Making waves on Slack:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
In the game of love, I’m the playlist curator while you’re stuck as an unread message 😂🎵📩

comparison, DM, DMs, humor, i, introduction, jealousy, media, music, presence, relationship, same, social, social media, Spotify, Spotify Wrapped, through, wrapped

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

0

5 months ago

always, episode, humor, matter, similarity, strange, The Twilight Zone, things, twilight, weird, weirdness, zone
Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

0

2 months ago

audiobook, buy, humor, inquiry, know, question, reading, thanks, transcript
Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

0

2 months ago

analogy, bang, furniture, humor, pinky, pinky toe, playful, relationship, toe
Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

0

2 months ago

activity, both, date, dog, humor, river, style
Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

0

4 months ago

chair, doing, doing nothing, grandparent, grandparents, humor, incredible, nature, nothing, observation, relaxation, right, sitting, staring, wisdom
If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

0

2 months ago

away, charts, confidence, data, destroy, humor, humorous, humorous quote, i, intimidation, prepared, research, run, sarcasm, say, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

37 shares on Instagram this month:

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

54 shares on Slack this month:

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

God saw you do that.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

Going viral on Twitch:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Trending via Slack:

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Just shared via Twitch:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Trending via Twitch:

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨