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Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,686

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Shared recently on Threads:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Live now on Reddit:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Trending via TikTok:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

Seen just now on Slack:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

1 week ago

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Commentary:
In the game of love, I’m the playlist curator while you’re stuck as an unread message 😂🎵📩

comparison, DM, DMs, humor, i, introduction, jealousy, media, music, presence, relationship, same, social, social media, Spotify, Spotify Wrapped, through, wrapped

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

1 month ago
filter, grass, greener, humor, illusion, just, over, perception, perspective, reality, sarcasm
My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

1 month ago
armor, drink, fantasy, fun, humor, knight, liquid, love
Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

5 days ago
allowed, bot, bots, call, dear, greeting, humor, me, message, Nigeria, only, scam
Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

1 month ago
bandwidth, boundary, busy, evolution, growing, growth, health, humor, independence, man, mental, mental health, neural, neural pathway, new, opinion, pathway, personal, personal growth, sarcasm, self-care, sorry, space, strangers, too
“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

1 month ago
bed, day, humor, i, laziness, leaving, life, love, never, work
I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

1 month ago
caffeine, coffee, coffee humor, daily, daily struggle, hope, humor, i, morning, morning routine, motivation, rise, routine, shine, struggle, wake, wake up

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

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“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

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“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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