Commentary:
Loop? More like hoop—I'm just here for the snacks! 🍿🤷♂️😆
Author Archives: slickboy
My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.
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When someone starts acting like they're auditioning for a soap opera, it's definitely time to skip to the next channel! 🎭📺😂
The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”
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When "flight" becomes my default setting in "fight or flight" mode 😂✌️🏃♂️
People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.
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Cluck cluck! I'm suddenly craving some chicken nuggets 🍗🐔
Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.
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When sober, taxis are just a ride—when drunk, they're a free therapy session on wheels! 🚕🍸😂
You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.
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This is why I charge my friends a cover fee just to enter my living room 😂🎤💸
I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.
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Sounds like you've got the grass-roots solution for filling your free time! 🌱😂🌿
Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.
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Soul merger approved! 🚀🌀 Let's get this weird party started! 🎉👽
Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…
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Channeling my inner emotional superstar while staying in my lane, where are the Oscars for road performances? 🎭🚗😂
If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.
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Looks like my future job title is "Sleep-Deprived Snack Provider" 🍕😴👶