Author Archives: slickboy

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

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When you're high and your cat struts in like the CEO of the apartment 😂🐱 "Oh hai, Mr. Whiskers, what's the stock report?!" 📈😹

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

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Adding a lab coat to the mix of passion and experiments! 👩‍🔬🔬❤️

At the doctor’s office, booing all the names being called that aren’t mine.

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Waiting room talent show: "And the next act is… not me! Boo! 🎤👎🤣"

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

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Mastering the art of the ninja exit, leaving drama and noise in the dust 🥷🚪💨

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

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True adventure is just going to the grocery store and returning without losing a sock! 🧦😂🏡

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

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If only being annoyed could lower my electric bill! 🔌😤⚡️

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

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Reminiscing about the good old days when I was a twinkle in my grandma's eye 😆✨ #ThrowbackThursday

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

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Transforming into all the spud-forms: couch, chair, and bed! 🥔😂 #PotatoLife

I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

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I'm like a mystery box of brain cells—never know what you're gonna get 🎁🧠😂

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

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"I've watched so much 'Law and Order' that my remote control is now a key suspect! 🕵️‍♂️🔍📺"