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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,406

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

Trending via Discord:

Fifty shades of I miss you.

Just landed via X:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Just landed via Instagram:

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Just shared via WeChat:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

Trending via Threads:

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

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Being rich is going to look so cute on me.
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Commentary:
Just picturing myself diving into a pool of dollar bills like Scrooge McDuck 😂💸✨

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

32 shares on X this month:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

53 shares on X this month:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,273

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Making waves on X:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Just shared via Twitch:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Spotted on TikTok:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Just shared via WeChat:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

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