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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,824

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Just landed via Twitch:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Breaking via Facebook:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Just shared via Discord:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Breaking via Reddit:

Drive like no one is watching.

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you realize your jeans have transformed into a denim prison 😂👖🍕

called, called off, care, casual, casual wear, day, day off, fat, feeling, feeling fat, jeans, self, self-care, wear, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

1 month ago
band, bands, fashion, gap, generational, generational gap, humor, i, kid, music, new, nostalgia, old, old people, people, shirt, shirts, trend
If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

7 hours ago
Arabia, drug, drug law, getting, humor, joke, law, pot, risk, saudi, Saudi Arabia, smoke, stoned, wordplay
Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

1 month ago
conflict, dessert, fighting, fun, humor, incentive, motivation, peace, stop, world
The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

1 month ago
brain, delete, female, female brain, gone, humor, internet, memory, never, never gone, psychology, something, works
I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

2 months ago
delivery, food, guy, humor, i, never, pizza, priorities, sit, waiting
Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

1 month ago
anxiety, anxious, day, exhausted, exhaustion, humor, irony, leisure, relaxation, scam, spend, stress, weekend

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Spotted on Snapchat:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Just shared via Facebook:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Spotted on YouTube:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Just shared via YouTube:

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

Making waves on TikTok:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

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Activity Log ✨

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Just cleaned out my junk drawer if anyone needs a CD to reinstall Windows 95.

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

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Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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