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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,229

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Freshly posted on X:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Just shared via Telegram:

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

Just shared via Reddit:

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

Shared recently on Threads:

No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

Trending via Discord:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Breaking via Instagram:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

Just landed via Reddit:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Making waves on Twitch:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Just landed via YouTube:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

Random Funny Quotes

Random funny quotes to crack you up. 😎✌️

Random funny quotes 👇

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

0

2 months ago

getting, guitar, harmonica, heat, hot, hot weather, instrument, music, outdoor, outside, slide, slide guitar, summer, weather
November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

31st, calendar, day, humor, i, just, me, November, pay, procrastination, real, rent, should, sounds, tomorrow, want
Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

0

2 months ago

alert, date, expiration, expiration date, food, humor, jokes, spoiler, spoiler alert
“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

0

5 months ago

compliment, disorder, humor, i, love, OMG, personality, sarcasm, thanks
Can we not just call it Zealand now?

0

2 months ago

call, humor, just, suggestion, wordplay, Zealand
If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

0

2 months ago

attitude, boundary, clearance, confidence, dating, humor, independence, less, much, personality, relationship, running, sale, self-worth, too
Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

0

2 months ago

brag, done, hours, humor, idleness, inactivity, laziness, nothing, procrastination, relaxation
Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

0

2 months ago

bone, bone broth, broth, comedy, food, food pun, humor, joke, mean, oh, pun, skeleton, soup, wordplay
During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

0

2 months ago

childbirth, cold, comparison, experience, feel, humor, men, much, pain, suffering, women
My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

0

2 months ago

cheetos, contradiction, flamin’, Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, hot, humor, kid, me, parenting, snack, spicy, toothpaste, trouble

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Threads this month:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

68 shares on X this month:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

47 shares on Discord this month:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Just landed via Instagram:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Going viral on Slack:

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

Going viral on TikTok:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Going bananas on WeChat:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Activity Log ✨

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨