Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Hey Alexa… remind me why I walked into this room.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,499

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Just landed via Pinterest:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Shared recently on Telegram:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Live now on Reddit:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Making waves on YouTube:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Making waves on Pinterest:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the new gourmet experience: dining à la floor with a 7.3-second rule! 🍽️😂🧹

due, eat, eating, floor, food, humor, inflation, joke, seconds, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

0

2 months ago

admiration, beloved, celebrity, celebrity fan, close, connection, doing, fan, friend, humor, i, personal, personal connection, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift, today, wonder
Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

0

2 months ago

dating, DM, DMs, Etsy, humor, love, magic, paying, put, relationship, spell, witch
You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, age, clean, cleaning, getting, getting old, house, housework, music, nostalgia, old, used
It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

0

2 months ago

cost, costs, daily, daily expense, day, exist, existence, expense, feels, financial, financial struggle, humor, inflation, just, money, struggle
Unfollowers, take me with you!

0

2 months ago

disconnect, humor, me, media, relationship, social, social media, take, unfollower
The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

0

6 months ago

attention, being, enjoy, enjoyment, experience, irony, less, media, online, online experience, social, social media, website

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Threads this month:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

96 shares on Threads this month:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

73 shares on Discord this month:

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

16 shares on Discord this month:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

The feminine urge to turn you on and not do anything about it.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

Going viral on WeChat:

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Just shared via Threads:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

Breaking via WeChat:

I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.

Just landed via Instagram:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

Live now on Reddit:

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Seen just now on Twitch:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

Unfollowers, take me with you!

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨