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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,029

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Live now on Snapchat:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Trending via Instagram:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Making waves on WeChat:

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

Just shared via YouTube:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

…

Commentary:
🎉🧠 "Heads up, everyone! It's like software updates, but for me! Time to hit 'refresh' and wave bye-bye to those old versions! 🚫🗑️🤣"

birthday, delete, everyone, expired, head, humor, i, joke, me, old, old version, self-deprecating, self-improvement, version, want, whatever

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

1 month ago
every, humor, minutes, Monday, procrastination, routine, stress, time, week, work
I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

1 month ago
airline, choice, choices, entertainment, humor, i, in-flight, in-flight movie, movie, nostalgia, remember, travel, watch
If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

1 month ago
anyone, billboard, company, decide, ever, humor, i, invest, investment, joke, lottery, secret, signs, tell, wealth, win
I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

5 months ago
hate, home, i, job, jobs, me, much, once, people, quitting, vlog, watch, wish, wishing, work
Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

1 month ago
best, both, fun, happiness, humor, i, intimacy, joy, laughing, life, lot, orgasm, pleasure, relationship, things, want
The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

1 month ago
Bachelor, Brooklyn, dating, humor, Madison, meet, reality, reality show, relationships, Savannah, show

New Funny Quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

When did making sense stop making sense?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

Just landed via Twitch:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Going viral on X:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Making waves on YouTube:

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

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Activity Log ✨

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

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For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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