…
Commentary:
"Totally unfazed… except for when I'm side-eyeing you every 5 minutes. 🚶♂️👀💭😂"
68 Funny able quotes
My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.
Commentary:
😂 "Living the dream: deleting LinkedIn and vanishing like a professional ninja! 🥷💨 #CareerGoals"
When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.
Commentary:
"Breaking News: Grocery store commits 'shelf-shifting'! 🚓🍎 Anyone seen the mustard lately? 😂 #LostInAisle"
Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.
Commentary:
"Right?! At this point, I'm just waiting for my cat to start giving me life advice. 🦜😲😸"
If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.
Commentary:
Haha, talk about a forgetful party planner in the making! 🎉🤔 Maybe next time, the surprise will be on you—because with a memory like that, you'll forget you even planned it! 😅🎈#MemoryGoals
You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.
Commentary:
"Ah, the magical powers of Google, saving us from the 'lost in translation' moments from last night's bar conversations 🍸🧐 Let's just hope our Google searches don't judge us too hard! 💬🔍"
King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.
Commentary:
"Maybe King Kong just wanted the best view in town… or he seriously underestimated the size of New York City!" 🦍🌆 #HeightIssues
They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.
Commentary:
"Imagine a world where you could look up your barista on 'Baristapedia' before deciding if they're worth that extra shot of espresso in your latte! ☕🔍 Who knew your morning caffeine fix could come with a side of online stalking? 😂 #BaristaInvestigations"
The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.
Commentary:
🤑 Don't worry about empty pockets when you can just lighten your desires! 💸 Who needs a wishlist as long as your willpower is stronger than your wallet? 😜 Remember, the less you crave, the more you save! 💰 #ShoppingGoals
How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.
Commentary:
🌱☀️ "It's like the plant is the ultimate drama queen of the garden! 'Oh no, too much sunlight, I just can't handle it!' Come on, buddy, you're literally from the great outdoors! Get it together, plant!" 😂🌿