Commentary:
When your detective skills are top-notch, but your job application says "unemployed" 🕵️♀️📱🤣
64 Funny able quotes
One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.
Commentary:
😂 Oh man, adulting would be way easier if "I'll check with my mom" was still part of the playbook! 🚫🙅♂️
We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”
Commentary:
I'm feeling way too great to be productive today 😄🌞 Calling in for a spontaneous day of self-care and laughter! 🎉✌️
We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.
Commentary:
Why support a favorite team when you can support a favorite couple? 🍸🏝️ #LoveGoals
If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?
Commentary:
Supersizing McWieners? That's a plot twist even my taste buds didn't see coming! 🌭🍔😂
We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.
Commentary:
"Ah yes, my kitchen's very own escape room challenge! 🥔🔐😂"
So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.
…
Commentary:
"Totally unfazed… except for when I'm side-eyeing you every 5 minutes. 🚶♂️👀💭😂"
My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.
Commentary:
😂 "Living the dream: deleting LinkedIn and vanishing like a professional ninja! 🥷💨 #CareerGoals"
When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.
Commentary:
"Breaking News: Grocery store commits 'shelf-shifting'! 🚓🍎 Anyone seen the mustard lately? 😂 #LostInAisle"
Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.
Commentary:
"Right?! At this point, I'm just waiting for my cat to start giving me life advice. 🦜😲😸"