Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

“I didn’t vote for this.” — people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,590

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Going viral on Threads:

This post is highly top-secret. You need to forget that you’ve seen it immediately.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

Spotted on Snapchat:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

Making waves on Threads:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

Spotted on Reddit:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

Funny average quotes

Funny average quotes bring a hilarious twist to everyday life 📊😂 They celebrate the beauty of being perfectly… well, average! Whether you’re embracing your middle-of-the-road moments or just need a good laugh 🤣, these witty sayings remind us that normal can be wonderfully entertaining. So sit back, smile, and enjoy some playful humor that proves average is anything but boring 🎉😎!

New funny average quotes 👇

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

15 hours ago

anatomy, arm, arms, average, biology, humor, leg, legs, ovary, person, speaking, statistically, statistics, testicle
Crazy to think the average Zoomer male just works, watches porn, and plays video games. That’s it. That’s their whole life.

2 weeks ago

average, crazy, game, games, humor, just, life, male, porn, stereotype, think, video, video game, whole, work, works, Zoomer
Achieving AGI by reducing the intelligence of the average human rather than increasing the intelligence of AI.

2 weeks ago

AGI, AI, artificial, artificial intelligence, average, human, humor, intelligence, technology
I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

2 months ago

aging, anything, average, confidence, consider, humor, i, myself, self-awareness, self-deprecating, well
Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

2 months ago

acting, average, average person, dafoe, different, even, film, film industry, industry, movie, Nosferatu, opportunity, person, uniqueness, willem, Willem Dafoe
On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

2 months ago

action, actions, average, daily, daily action, else, good, humor, self-deprecation, something, something else
Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

2 months ago

average, captcha, confidence, human, humor, irony, just, self-awareness, smarter, universe
“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

2 months ago

average, books, CEO, else, humor, nothing, productivity, reading, sarcasm, time, year

All funny average quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

45 shares on Instagram this month:

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

92 shares on X this month:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,290

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

Breaking via Instagram:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

Just shared via Instagram:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

Making waves on Discord:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

Making waves on X:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

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