Funny average quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

  Commentary:
  "Willem Dafoe must have supernatural powers to play in two Nosferatu movies while we mere mortals struggle to get cast in just one! 🦇🧛‍♂️ Looks like he's bitten off more than he can chew… literally! 🤣 #HollywoodVampires"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like my talents are playing hide and seek, because they certainly aren't showing up in my daily routine! 🤔🕵️‍♂️ Maybe I'm secretly a master at procrastination and Netflix binging instead? 🤷‍♂️📺"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

  Commentary:
  "Feeling all smart and genius? 🤓 Universe: 'Hold my cosmic coffee, let me hit you with a CAPTCHA!' 🌌🤖 #HumblePieComingUp"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: “The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

  Commentary:
  Well, well, well… If reading 52 books a year is what it takes to become a CEO, sign me up! 📚💼 But let's be real, who has the time for all that reading when you're too busy running the show? 🤷‍♂️ Maybe we should all start aiming for that corner office so we can finally catch up on our reading goals too! 📈📖 #CEOgoals

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