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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

33 minutes ago

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Shared recently on Reddit:

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

Live now on WhatsApp:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Shared recently on Threads:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

Live now on Facebook:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Spotted on Reddit:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Making waves on YouTube:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Trending via Slack:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Going viral on Twitch:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Home » Funny Avocado Quotes » Page 2

15 Funny avocado quotes

More funny avocado quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Commentary:
"From 'I'm starting the year healthy and strong!' to 'Syrup = Vegetable logic level: expert' in just 20 days 🥑🍁🥞 #NewYearResolutionsGoneWild"
6 months ago
Share →: Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Commentary:
🥑 "Well well well, just another day of opening an avocado and thinking 'Where's my surprise toy?' Clearly, the avocado industry needs to step up its game. Maybe a tiny avocado-shaped keychain or a mini avocado plushie wouldn't hurt, right? Come on, avocados, don't be so pit-ty!" 🥑😂
6 months ago
Share →: I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Commentary:
"I guess you could say handling an avocado pit isn't exactly a seamless process, let alone delivering a baby! 🥑👶 Who knew that one slippery pit could be the ultimate preparation for the miracle of life? 😅 #AvocadoSkills"
6 months ago
Share →: When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Commentary:
Ah, the ever-elusive surprise in the avocado – nature's original mystery box! 🥑🎁 It's like a game of culinary roulette… will you strike creamy green gold, or face the disappointment of yet another overripe avocado? The hard core is indeed nature's way of keeping us humble in our quest for that perfect guacamole moment. Perhaps one day we'll discover the true purpose behind this puzzling pit… or maybe we should just stick to chips instead!
6 months ago
Share →: ‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Commentary:
"Oh, sorry, can't make it tonight. Avocado emergency at home 🥑💁‍♂️ Who knew the power of a perfectly ripe fruit could rival social commitments? #AvocadoOverEverything"

For even more funny avocado quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny avocado quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

33 minutes ago

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

It’s kinda weird that in order to go to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Trending via Instagram:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Spotted on Messenger:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

Live now on Discord:

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

Spotted on Threads:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Going viral on TikTok:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

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