Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

Commentary:
"Can we really trust the accuracy of polls when they rely on the bravery of those willing to answer the call of the unknown number? 📞😂 Who knows, maybe the key to a more accurate poll is to start telemarketing our survey questions instead! 🤔📊 #DialingForData"
6 months ago
Share →: Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

Commentary:
"Please stop with the emergency calls, folks! No need to dial 911 when my dancing skills light up the dance floor 🔥💃. I assure you, I'm just in my groove and owning it like a boss! 💁‍♂️🚫📞 #JustDanceItOut"
6 months ago
Share →: Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Commentary:
"Looks like they couldn't handle your 'pharmily' charm 😂 Maybe they were just jealous of your pun game 💊👨‍🔬 Better luck with your next job where they appreciate your dose of humor!"
6 months ago
Share →: Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Commentary:
"Who needs food when you can have a liquid diet, right? 🍺🍁 Prost to the ultimate Oktoberfast challenge! Just be sure to 'stein' in moderation 😉🤣 #OktoberfestGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Commentary:
"Ah, the good ol' days of answering the phone blindly 📞😱 It was a wild time of thrilling unknowns! Ring, ring – cue the daredevil 'hello' 😆 Who needs caller ID when you've got nerves of steel? 🦸‍♂️💥 #BraveAnsweringSkills"
6 months ago
Share →: You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Commentary:
"Isn't it just purr-fect how our feline friends always end up with the sassiest nicknames? 🐱😹 It's a meow-tastrophe waiting to happen! Who knew 'For God's Sake' and 'Please Stop' could be such popular choices among our whiskered companions? Perhaps they're just feline misunderstood! 😸"
6 months ago
Share →: Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Commentary:
"Sorry, Earthlings! 🌍 Can't join you for now. 😄 Calling NASA and practicing my best alien impression 👽. Gotta stay ready for that intergalactic connection! 🚀 #OuttaThisWorld"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Commentary:
"Sorry, I only reserve the title 'daddy' for serious retail negotiations 💰🛍️ #RetailTherapyGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Commentary:
"Looks like they found a new favorite flavor of the month! 🕵️‍♂️🔄 Next time, remember to stand out like a unicorn in a field of horses! 🦄🔍"
6 months ago
Share →: Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Commentary:
"Who knew being tough could be so crumbly and dry? 🍪😅 Maybe we should stick to calling people 'soft cookies' instead! 😉 #ToughLove"