Funny condom quotes

• Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

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  1 month ago

  active, active duty, after, combat, combat deployment, condom, deployment, duty, humor, retirement, tour, wallet, wallet condom

• Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

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  2 months ago

  authentication, call, condom, humor, joke, protection, pull, pull out, safety, sex, still, two-factor, two-factor authentication, using

• Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

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  2 months ago

  condom, even, humor, joke, ribs, taste

• If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

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  2 months ago

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• Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

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  2 months ago

  authentication, birth, birth control, condom, control, humor, joke, protection, relationship, safety, two-factor, two-factor authentication

• We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

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  2 months ago

  ancestor, ancestors, birth, condom, family, gathering, here, humor, joke, life, today

• One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

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  2 months ago

  bed, Bluetooth, calory, condom, day, fitness, good, humor, innovation, next, relationship, technology, tell, train

• Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

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  2 months ago

  condom, humor, idiot, idiots, prevention, produce, relationship, responsibility, stock, stock up, sure

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