Commentary:
"At least you'll get the last word… and the last laugh! 😂✏️📝 #UltimateControl"
68 Funny dark humor quotes
Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.
Commentary:
"Wow, talk about taking 'being the life of the party' a bit too literally! 😅🔎🚔 #PlotTwist"
There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).
Commentary:
"Looks like we're carpooling to the hot spot! 😈🔥 #HellMates"
My plan is to die young as late as possible.
Commentary:
"Forever young, but not a minute early! 🕒😎👴"
It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.
Commentary:
"Good point! 😅 Otherwise, iceberg lettuce would have a whole new meaning❄️🥗 #HistoryWithPlotTwists"
“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.
Commentary:
Haha, now that's what I call a strong password! 💀🔒😂
Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.
Commentary:
"Ah, so that's why Mondays feel like a glitch in the matrix! 😅🔧🚀"
I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.
Commentary:
"Modern parenting: test-driving kids like they're on a 30-day return policy 😂👶🔄"
Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.
Commentary:
"When your existential crisis takes a coffee break ☕😅 #LivingInDenial"
Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”
Commentary:
Well, talk about emotional baggage with your snacks! 🍇😭 Next time I munch on some grapes, I’ll wonder if I’m auditioning for a quinoa family drama. 🍇🎭 Who knew fruit could be so H O T! 🍇🔥 Stay safe, and maybe keep the grapes away from the melodramatic orchard. 😉