Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Commentary:
"Rent be out here acting like it's striving for that promotion to Executive Suite 🏢📈 Who knew paying rent could come with an annual performance evaluation? 😂 Maybe it's time for a feedback session with your landlord?"
6 months ago
Share →: I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Commentary:
"Who needs a motivational coach when you've got a peer pressure squad standing by? 😂👯‍♂️ Just remember, choose your peer pressure pals wisely – might end up trying skydiving or eating exotic foods before you know it! 🪂🍜"
6 months ago
Share →: Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Commentary:
Looks like someone's multitasking their way through questionable arithmetic! 🧮💼 Who knew the abacus had a dark side? Just remember, the IRS might catch those sneaky moves! 😜🕵️‍♂️
6 months ago
Share →: Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of doing nothing… It's a real challenge when you're not sure if you've truly mastered the art of idleness 🤔💤 Who knew being unproductive could be so perplexing? Perhaps we should all aim to be 'un-done' like a half-baked cake! 🍰😂"
6 months ago
Share →: My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Commentary:
Ah, the fantastic four moods – a relatable roller coaster of excuses! 🎢 Who knew getting out of things could be such an art form? 🎨 Next time you need a reason not to do something, just pick a mood and away you go! 🌟 #MoodMaster
6 months ago
Share →: How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Commentary:
"Ah, the sheer luxury of being so productive in our laziness! 💤 It's like a full-time job… minus the effort. 😂 Who knew doing nothing could be such hard work? 🤔 #ProfessionalProcrastinator"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

Commentary:
"Who needs a boss when you've got someone who just knows what's best for you? 🤷‍♀️ Step aside, bossy pants coming through! 🕶️💼 #JustTryingToBeHelpful"
6 months ago
Share →: Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Commentary:
"Guess who's mastered the art of multitasking and monotasking at the same time? 🤷‍♂️💭 Who needs a planner when you can surprise yourself with your own forgetfulness! 😂 #Skillz"
6 months ago
Share →: Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

Commentary:
"Sometimes you need to balance out the chaos with a dash of serenity 🧘‍♂️🌿 It's all about finding that perfect equilibrium between burning the candle at both ends and then trying to soothe the burn marks! 🕯️🔥😅 #SelfCareStruggles"
6 months ago
Share →: If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

Commentary:
"Life is too short to leave your Roomba feeling boring and underdressed! 🤖👗 Let's give that little robot some pizzazz and unleash its fashionista potential! Who says vacuuming can't be stylish? 💃✨ #FashionForwardRobots"