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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1891 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,053

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,053

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

Just shared via TikTok:

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

Just landed via Twitch:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Live now on X:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

Shared recently on Discord:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Just landed via Facebook:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Trending via Discord:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Seen just now on Discord:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

Spotted on Facebook:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1891 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,053

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,053

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Just landed via X:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Live now on Twitch:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Just landed via Reddit:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Spotted on WeChat:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Making waves on Messenger:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Trending via YouTube:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

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