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5 months ago
Share →: Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

Commentary:
"Ah, the unfair world of metabolism… Some folks are out there digesting books while others merely glance at a cookbook and can feel the calories settling in. 📚🍔📖 Guess we'll just have to rely on our charm and wit to compensate for those extra pounds! 💁‍♂️😂"
5 months ago
Share →: The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Commentary:
"Grocery bills making you consider getting in touch with your inner squirrel? 🌰🐿️ Maybe acorns are the next big culinary trend! Who needs avocado toast when you can have acorn specialties instead? 😆 #BudgetFriendlyEating"
5 months ago
Share →: My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Commentary:
🍔🔥 "My goal was to rock that bikini this summer, but alas, the alluring sizzle of the barbecue proved to be a formidable opponent. Can’t resist the aroma of grilled goodness! Looks like my summer body will have to wait… Pass me the BBQ sauce! 😅👙"
5 months ago
Share →: At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal salad dilemma – when does it transform from a bed of healthy greens to a sneaky delivery vehicle for crispy, delicious bacon? 🥗🥓🤔 Let's just say, if you need to go hunting for lettuce amongst the bacon bits, you might have crossed that 'salad' line!"
5 months ago
Share →: I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Commentary:
"Who needs a reason to eat cake? 🎂 Life is too short to wait for birthdays! Go ahead, treat yourself and celebrate like it's somebody's birthday EVERY day! 🎉🍰 #CakeForEveryOccasion"
5 months ago
Share →: Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

Commentary:
"Reading nutrition labels is like embarking on a guessing game, but wouldn't it be fun to have a 'What if I ate the whole thing' section? 🤔🍔🍟 Imagine the shock on our faces when we realize the whole bag of chips was meant to serve more than just a quick snack break! 😂 #SurpriseCalories"
5 months ago
Share →: The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

Commentary:
"Ah, the famous correlation between rain and donuts – a classic combo like PB&J! 🌧️🍩 Who needs an umbrella when you've got a delicious stack of 6 donuts to keep you company on this wet and wacky adventure? But hey, who's counting when you're enjoying the sweet side of life, right? 😄 Embrace the rain, savor the donuts, and let the good times pour! ☔️🍩"
5 months ago
Share →: I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Commentary:
Well, that would be quite the starch-tacular challenge! 🏊‍♂️ Just imagine the creamy strokes and gravy turns you'd have to master. 💪 Swim-a-licious or mash madness, you decide! 🥔 #SpudtasticAdventure
5 months ago
Share →: Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Commentary:
"Diet day #1: Saying goodbye to all the tempting treats like a true warrior… and by 'goodbye', I mean 'see you later, when I sneak out for a midnight snack.' 🍔🍩🏃‍♂️ #HealthyChoices #FoodStruggles"
5 months ago
Share →: My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

Commentary:
Looks like these savvy pups have cracked the code to getting extra treats! 🐶🤣 Who knew the "f-word" in the kitchen could lead to such tasty rewards? Time to hire them as kitchen assistants, right? 😉🍗