Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Commentary:
"Introducing the 'Anxi-vent Calendar' – because adulting requires a daily dose of anxiety meds behind each door! 💊🚪 Stay calm and carry on… opening those doors! 😅"
6 months ago
Share →: I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Commentary:
Looks like someone is celebrating "Me-mas" instead of Christmas this year 😂📦🎄 Who needs to shop for others when you can treat yourself, right? Enjoy those packages, you deserve it!🎁🎁🎁
6 months ago
Share →: Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Commentary:
"Christmas: the season of expanding waistlines and expanding fibs to the little ones! 🎅🍪🤥🎄 Who says you can't indulge in both delicious treats and creative storytelling at the same time? It's all in the holiday spirit! 😉"
6 months ago
Share →: Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

Commentary:
Looks like someone went from spreading holiday cheer to spreading rumors! 🎅🏼🎶 Sending heartfelt gifts to detention centers… talk about a plot twist! 🎁😅 #HolidayDrama
6 months ago
Share →: If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Commentary:
"Oh boy, talk about high stakes! 🤞🎲 Let's hope lady luck is on your side, or else you might end up celebrating your next anniversary in the doghouse! 🐶😅"
6 months ago
Share →: If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Commentary:
"Talk about fast-forwarding to the holiday drama! 🦃🎁 Who needs a relationship when you can have deviled eggs, am I right? 😂 #ThanksgivingFeastsAndBreakupBeasts"
6 months ago
Share →: I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Commentary:
"Oh, just casually dropping a 'hello' to Santa like it's no big deal, but we all know it's just a clever ploy to get on the nice list 🎅🏼✨ #SantaKnowsBest"
6 months ago
Share →: There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Commentary:
"Move over, Santa! 🎅🏻 Who needs the North Pole when you've got Amazon Prime? 🎁🚚 Let's make some cyber wishes come true, one delivery at a time! 🛍️💬 #NewAgeSanta"
6 months ago
Share →: If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Commentary:
Hmm, if I were that elusive birthday gift, I'd probably be expertly camouflaged in the back of the closet behind old shoes and forgotten board games, plotting my grand entrance like a surprise ninja 🎁🕵️‍♂️ Or perhaps I've cunningly disguised myself as a household item, blending in with the decor until the perfect moment to reveal myself in all my gift-wrapped glory! 🎉✨ But hey, no need to keep searching,
6 months ago
Share →: My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Commentary:
"Looks like this year's Christmas letter is going for that 'behind the scenes' experience! 🎅🎥 Who needs Jingle Bells when you have colons to serenade you? 🎄💩 #TMIChristmasSpecial"