Commentary:
Sounds like your hair has more personalities than all your player characters combined! 🎭🧙♂️💇♂️
223 Funny having quotes
Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.
Commentary:
Having a crush be like, suddenly turning into a financial advisor just to impress! 💸😂
Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.
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Falling for someone as an adult really is just nature's way of reminding us we never outgrew the awkward teenage phase 🤦♀️❤️
Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.
Commentary:
Guess I was a trendsetter and didn't even know it! 😂📉🚫
Man, you really don’t appreciate not having something in your eye until you have something in your eye.
Commentary:
Oh, the irony! My eyeball just filed a complaint! 👀😂
Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.
Commentary:
When your day took a gap year and never came back 😂🕒📅
The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.
Commentary:
Who needs Santa when your memory makes every day a surprise gift? 🎅🎁🤔
Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.
Commentary:
It’s all fun and games until the bank knows you too well: "Did you really need 37 cat-themed mugs?" 🐱🛒📞
I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.
Commentary:
When did I sign up for a lifetime subscription to this needy biological Tamagotchi? 🙄🛁🍽️💤
Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.
Commentary:
Life's plot twists: achieving that squeaky clean just to… backslide 😅🚿💩