Commentary:
Ah, the irresistible call of comfy sweatpants and unlimited snacks 😂🍕🔕
5670 Funny i quotes
I can’t wait for the “international law” crowd to discover that “human rights” aren’t real, either.
Commentary:
So, human rights are just like my gym membership—everyone talks about them, but nobody actually uses them 🏋️🤣🌍
I woke up extra early today to get in as much ‘worrying about it being Monday tomorrow’ as possible.
Commentary:
Ah, the Sunday Scaries have declared an early victory! 😅🗓️🛌
I hate world events. I have problems of my own to worry about.
Commentary:
Looks like my laundry pile just declared itself an independent nation! 🧺😅🌍
The thing I bought on Etsy in 2017 has shipped.
Commentary:
Is it coming on foot with time travel powers? Waiting for my 2017 self to be surprised! 📦⏳😂
I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.
Commentary:
Procrastination has never been so productive! 😂🔍📚
British people be like “I was born in E-sex, grew up in Woke Ham, moved to Man Chest Hair, went to uni in Rotten Stall.”
Commentary:
Sounds like a geographical journey through the Whimsical Kingdom! 😂🇬🇧🏰
Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.
Commentary:
Breaking the family tradition of doing what you're supposed to! 🎉🤪 #Trailblazer
Every time I use a Windows computer, it’s like they built malware into the OS. Like, what do you mean there are ads in the start menu?
Commentary:
Windows computers come with ads in the start menu? I just wanted to boot up, not sign up for a shopping spree! 🛍️🖥️😂
I don’t understand why banks get so mad when you can’t pay back your loan. You already knew I had no money when I came to borrow it.
Commentary:
Guess they thought they were financing a miracle instead of my wallet! 💸🪄😂