66 funny important quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

May 23, 2026

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

May 23, 2026

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

May 22, 2026

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

May 22, 2026

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

May 22, 2026

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

May 22, 2026

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

May 22, 2026

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

May 22, 2026

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

May 22, 2026

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

May 22, 2026

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

May 22, 2026

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

May 21, 2026

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

May 21, 2026

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

May 21, 2026

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

May 21, 2026

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

May 21, 2026

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

May 21, 2026

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

May 21, 2026

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

May 20, 2026

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

May 20, 2026

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

May 20, 2026

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

May 20, 2026

“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

May 20, 2026

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

May 20, 2026

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

May 19, 2026

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

May 19, 2026