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Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡² has downloaded:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

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Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

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My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

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The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

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If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

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Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

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I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

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Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

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Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

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Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.