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Saving the world one unread message at a time! 🦸♂️📵✨
1648 Funny just quotes
I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.
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Sounds like the perfect foundation for a mutually questionable relationship! 😂💔👀
I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.
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Sounds like the perfect recipe for a rustic coffee shop in the woods with hug-only seating! ☕🌲🤗
Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.
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Sounds like you've found the secret to job security! 🍻🤔🤣
I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.
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😂🐱 Proof that cats are the masterminds behind all major negotiations. They'd rather stage a hunger strike than eat subpar kibble! 🍽️🧠
As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.
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This is exactly why I keep my feelings stacked in a neat emotional can. 😂🧂🥔
Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.
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Can't hear the haters over the sweet sound of Nutella bliss 🥄😂🍫
“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.
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Being myself has led to a few victories, a few awkward dance moves, and at least one restraining order 😂🤦♂️🕺
Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?
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"Brain: Overworked. Me: On permanent vacation mode! 🏖️🧠"
Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.
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Guess it's time to find the cheat codes for unlimited snacks and naps! 🎮🍕😴