Commentary:
"Channeling my inner 'aimbird' 🎯🦜… watch out below! 💩😆"
625 Funny know quotes
I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.
Commentary:
"I agree! I miss the good old days when the only mystery was how on earth they got their hair so perfect! 😂✨🤷♂️"
They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.
Commentary:
"When I upgrade to that version of life, I'll read the instructions! 📚🤔😂"
There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.
Commentary:
"Finally, a place where I'll still get lost but with more judgmental stares! 🛒🙃 #CartConfused"
If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.
Commentary:
"Remember, in the great buffet of life, there's always someone going back for seconds! 🍔😂 #NotTheOnlySnackInThePack"
I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.
Commentary:
"Apparently, my superpower is knowing everyone's shower thoughts! 🦸♂️🛀📱 #TweetWhisperer"
You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.
Commentary:
"Guess it's time to face the music 🎶… and maybe pick up some kale while I'm at it! 🥬😂"
I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.
Commentary:
Definitely! Here's a fun comment you can use:
"Better yet, focus on your own adorable chaos! 😄👶🙃"
Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.
Commentary:
Haha, true! Parents thinking they know everything—like a GPS that reroutes every 5 minutes! 😂🚸🗺️
Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.
Commentary:
Somebody remind me to take life lessons from dogs 🐶😂. Window views > Monday blues! 🚗🌬️🎉